Episode 26

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Published on:

18th Jan 2021

Showing Up As Your Authentic Self is More Important Than Fitting In l E26 Jay Williams

Today’s guest is Jay Williams, the Founder of Maskless Men, an community based organization built for men to discuss the things we normally don’t get to talk about: break ups, emotions, family and parenting issues, sex, porn, the feeling of being inadequate, and more.

Jay started Maskless Men after he saw the need for men to have a place to open up, share how they’re feeling, and gain some reassurance.

In this conversation, Jay will talk about his 28 years of wearing what he calls masks.

After being the good child, the agreeable and pleasing boyfriend, the tough, macho man at work, the loud, confident, funny friend, Jay decided he had enough. He became exhausted acting as a different personality depending on who he was with. He built the courage to take off the mask, go on a journey of self-discovery, and start showing up as his true authentic self.

By listening to this episode, I hope you’ll begin to reflect how your upbringing may be affecting your relationships today, why showing up as your authentic self is more important than fitting in, and making a claim against outdated, harmful societal norm that men can’t express their feelings.

 

Key Takeaways:

[2:28] How Jay’s childhood influenced his commitment issues later in life

[14:55] Wearing different masks to fit into your environment

[23:57] Why can’t men talk about their feelings

[50:21] Having pride for being a male

 

Favorite Quotes:

[6:57] “I’m terrified that what happened to my mom and dad is what is going to happen to me.”

[29:21] “And he turned around and said...I want that too.”

[44:37] “When you are in your head, you’re dead.”

[53:20] “We are not our behaviors. Our behaviors are just a way of expressing what we are needing or feeling”

 

Mentions:

The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts by Gary Chapman (https://www.amazon.com/Love-Languages-Secret-that-Lasts/dp/080241270X)

The Landmark Forum (https://www.landmarkworldwide.com/)

 

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About the Podcast

FI Minded - Financial Independence Without the Extremes
Achieve Financial Independence & Have Fun Doing It
Pursuing financial freedom, a work-optional lifestyle, or early retirement often leads to the same questions: “one more year,” “do I have enough?” “what does life actually look like after this?”

FI Minded helps you think like someone who’s already financially independent so you can make smarter decisions about how you work, spend, and live.

From Coast FI and Slow FI to lifestyle design, career transitions, healthcare, and self-employment, each episode explores the real decisions behind building a flexible, work-optional life…without burnout, over-optimization, or missing out along the way.

We cover:
* Smarter ways to reach financial independence (without burnout)
* Designing a flexible, work-optional lifestyle
* Coast FI, Slow FI, and enjoying your time along the way
* What life actually looks like after FI (and how to prepare for it)
* The tradeoffs behind big money decisions

Make progress toward financial independence while actually living your life.

Some of our past guests include Carl Jensen (1500 Days), Jeremy Schneider (Personal Finance Club), Nick Loper (Side Hustle Show), Andrew Giancola (The Personal Finance Podcast), Jordan Grumet (Earn & Invest), Rachael Camp (Work Optional), Jillian Johnsrud (Retire Often), Sean Mullaney (FI Tax Guy), Jill Sirianni (Frugal Friends), Jackie Cummings-Koski (Catching Up to FI), Joel Larsgaard (How to Money), Cody Garrett (Measure Twice), Jesse Cramer (Personal Finance for Long-Term Investors), Jess (The Fioneers), Chris Hutchins (All The Hacks), Diania Merriam (EconoMe), Andy Hill (Marriage Kids Money), Fritz Gilbert (Retirement Manifesto), and and others helping you rethink how to approach financial independence.
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